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۞ Damen™"i'm the hand under mona lisa's skirt...." 19 March My New Year's Resolutions New Year's Resolutions are nothing but new headaches to be taken care of, in the year that unfolds. Here's a list of my New Year's Resolutions...and some of that Kha-yeh has proposed.
1) I will quit flirting or even looking at other girls. 2) I will be the complete opposite of me around girls. 3) I will stop communicating with my ex's. 4) I will always remember our monthsary/anniversary. 5) I will organize my contacts, address book, important documents and my life. 6) I will check all my accounts on all social networking sites and make sure that my "Status" on all accounts are set to "In A Relationship". 7) I'm going to stop being so nice this year... I think I overdid it in 2007. 8) I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine. 9) I will try to figure out why I "really" need 5 e-mail addresses. 10) I will take neither myself nor any of the above seriously. LOL I am expected to adhere to seven of the given ten. Resolutions number 1, 2 & 3 are mandatory..... Kha-yeh said! Or else I might not be alive to create my New Year's Resolutions for 2009. 4 January A Letter From My GirlfriendA PANACEA FOR A TROUBLED HEART:
As I ponder in the lit room with an ashtray, a cup of coffee and a cigarette beside me, lots of things are jumbled in my mind. My writing will tell you, I am confused and troubled. I am not confused about my feelings and plans toward this man but I am confused whether he loves me as much as I love him. Because of that I feel troubled. I feel troubled because that confusion is consuming me in the way that my heart tells me that he loves me but my mind is playing its game on me. It accommodates speculations, theories of what-love-should-be, doubts, fear, judgments and what-ifs. I want somebody to tell me that I am paranoid. Oh, I want him to tell me over and over again that I don't need to worry because he is mine.
Arggghhhh.... I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to think anymore. I just hope that things will get better. I hope that GOD will make me stronger and will bring back the old confident me. I wish that GOD still listen to my prayers and make Damen and me stronger. I pray that Damen stretches his patience for me, for I am one difficult person at times. I want to be Mrs. Maria Chaterine A. Aniciete someday. I want us to be happy. I want my insecurities to go away so I could let his jokes pass without being too sensitive. So many things have been mentioned here, in short, what do I really want? I want him and be happy with him. He said he loves me too. So what is the problem? Nothing. So what is my panacea for my troubled heart? Lambing... hugs and kisses. Attention, words and deeds of his assuring love for me.  12 November When You Are Inlove With YourselfYesterday before my gf left, she said "I love you so much.” I replied..... “Yeah, I also love myself so much.” She called me an egotist and refused to stop when I tried to stop her from walking away. Either she was upset or she's going to be late for work. Good, my gf has finally realized the truth. I wonder why it took her so long to understand that I love myself. Chances are, she did not notice all those love bites on my mirror image. I don’t want to be bragging here, but I think if only I were a little more modest… I would be the perfect human being that ever walked this Earth. I just need to be a little more modest… that is all. I found out that I was perfect the day I played Tony "The Engineer" in a school play...uhm "New Yorker In Tondo"...that's the play. After I got off the stage, the audience went loud, crazy and unruly. I had to get back on the stage and request them to be calm. At this juncture, one of my classmates walked up to me and said: “You were amazing. I don’t have words to describe you.” I said: “Try harder.” He didn’t yield to my prompt and we spent the next ten minutes discussing the last few days of my schooling and what my future plans were. When I got bored I told him: “Enough of me….let us now talk about you.” I could see he was happy. “What do YOU think of me?” I asked him…but he stared right through me and went on his way. If you don’t love yourself… I pity you. I wonder if you will ever be able to love anybody from the bottom of your heart. A friend of mine has fallen in love with himself and is looking forward to a life-long romance. As if that was not enough, another friend wants to die in his own arms. Now, what do you call that? 13 March Happy Birthday... No Such Thing.I miss those times that I'm really excited for my birthday to come. Back in the days, in the province, it means that I'll be bringing pansit and puto in school (elementary) I studied in a public elementary school btw. And when in highschool, I remember, I was the first one who intruduce Cali (the non-alcholic drink by San Miguel) in our class. Then after college, to my parents its a chance of meeting a new girlfriend of their beloved, only single son lols. Several years had passed, it became more and more less exciting, well atleast for me. I think I'm just afraid of getting old.
"Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be; that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably... irrevocably.... happy birthday? ..... No such thing." |
TNX FOR DROPPIN BY... HIT ME UP
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